Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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