Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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