i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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