NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The air was thick with penises
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
