After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
