he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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