I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
