so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This baby is an asshole
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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