I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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