Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
