but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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