Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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