I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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