is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
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I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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