I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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