Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize