fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
