having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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