hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
