No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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