"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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