so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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