but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize