No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
