I just made out with a guy for $7.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
