are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I look better un-naked...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
