it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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