i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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