I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
