Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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