No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
