I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize