the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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