Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
