you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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