I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and she was petting her beer can
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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