I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
