I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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