Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We are all done wearing pants today
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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