i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Shame is for Republicans.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize