a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Boobs speak an international language.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
