I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Actions speak louder than pants.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
