im six kinds of drunk right now
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
