he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
