He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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