I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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