Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
