He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
