he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
