i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
