very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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