That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
how does that bad decision feel?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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