have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize