Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
