okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
