literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I want a musical about memes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
