so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
