She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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